It seems like such an easy job until you actually have kids, at which time reality sets in and you wonder why no one prepared you for the gong show that ensues once you bring that adorable 6-lb bundle of joy home from the hospital.
The trouble is, any and all advice people give you before you have kids falls on deaf ears. I remember hearing my friends with kids complain about sleep deprivation, sore nipples, teething, and the fact that it was next to impossible for them to find the time to have a shower, but I always thought none of that stuff would apply to me.
I was convinced I would do it better.
And about 3 days into motherhood, I came to the scary realization that I was very, very wrong.
If I could turn back time, I would’ve paid more attention when my friends with kids talked to me. And rather than thinking, “I’ll be better than you”, I would’ve offered to hold their crying, colicky baby while they went and had a nap.
There are so many things I wish I had known before I became a mom, but these are the ones that really come to mind when I think back to that first year.
1. Sleep deprivation is torture. Period.
2. When your baby spits up, it looks worse than it is. And no, you won’t be up all night trying to get all of that milk back into her tummy. At least I hope you won’t.
3. The terms “vacation day”, “sick day”, “5 o’clock”, “quitting time”, and “weekend” no longer apply to you.
4. You will be doing laundry every single day. Every. Single. Day.
5. “Me time” no longer involves mani/pedis and trips to the mall. It means being able to poop in private. And it rarely, if ever, happens.
6. There will be days when you miss how relaxing your life was when you worked full-time.
7. Regardless of how long a week you’ve had at home with your teething, grumpy toddler, your husband will always be more tired than you are.
8. Waking up at 7 am is now considered “sleeping in.”
9. Women who claim their kids slept through the night from day one are liars.
10. No matter how exhausted you are, or how desperately you need a little time to yourself, there is no other job in the world as awesome and rewarding as being a mom.